Phantasm
by Rezelle
Summary: Riku’s obviously in love with Sora. Or perhaps he’s in lust. The angel loves only Kairi. Does Riku even have a chance? He wonders about– and dreams of– the day when Sora could finally be his.


**Summary:** Riku's obviously in love with Sora. Or perhaps he's in lust. The angel loves only Kairi. Does Riku even have a chance? He wonders about– and dreams of– the day when Sora could finally be his.

**Disclaimer: **Do I really need to keep telling you this? You people know I don't own Kingdom Hearts. No one really wants to own Disney. We're all at Square's doorstep, begging for the next RPG...

**Notes: **I warn you, this was completely random. I hope you like it, it's sort of... um... deep, I suppose. It's not my usual style, it actually more reminds me of those months I spent in a state of deep depression. And just so you know, I don't really hate Kairi. Like I said, this isn't my usual style.

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Just before the first rays of sunlight peeked in through the window, he awoke to the feeling of soft, warm breath billowing over his face, caressing him lovingly with each shudder from the person lying next to him. Rough, worn fingers limply clutched his hand, unmoving and yet comforting just in their presence. Somewhere under the mound of blankets, a steady heart beat pulsed, audible enough to reach his ears in the silence of dawn.

Eyes remaining closed, he lay still, deeply inhaling the sugary, musty scent of his companion which brought a smile to his lips. The warmth from the other seeped into him, filling him, completing him. He lay in bed, content, until cruel reality caught up with his over exerted brain.

He had almost whispered the name this time, almost let the sound fill his mouth and grace the air, the name, a single name, of his favored dream lover. Dreams could be so unforgiving, allowing him to live out his greatest fantasies, only to wake in the morning with the hollow feeling in his heart. Each day only brought more affliction as he longed for the confines of his dreams

Real was just a thin line nowadays, the brink of his dreams and what he plotted during the passing of daylight. Each small glimpse of Him, and the entrancing blue orbs which gazed upon him in curiosity, jerked him back to that dream world of soft butterfly kisses and sweet release. Pleasure didn't begin to describe it.

Disappointment set heavily in his heart, Riku clambered out of bed and searched for his clothes.

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School days passed like centuries. Seated alone in the back of a cramped classroom, surrounded by boredom and the droning of an unenthusiastic teacher, his mind wandered away from algebra and kneeled before fake realities of Him... fake, and oh so enticing.

As Riku gazed out the large classroom windows, shifting irritably at his desk, he eyed the island gulls circling the sky, occasionally calling to each other and descending upon the water. He watched them capture unsuspecting prey with interest, his lips hinting at a smile for the thoughts in his head.

Light fingertips brushing bare skin, lips grazing lips, hips grinding together, a dream_, a dream..._

In reality, the bell rang out through the corridors, signaling the end of school. And yet fate had conspired against him, presenting him with a dilemma as if to say, _Here, get yourself out of this one. _The absolute joy of his dreams had affected his body, and he now had visible proof that he had been daydreaming in class. Visible, painful, and oh, how embarrassing. More so for the fact that the lover in his fantasies awaited him not ten feet away.

Poised awkwardly in the doorway of a strictly junior classroom, Sora grasped the strap of His book bag on His shoulder, glancing back and forth between Riku and the Algebra 2 teacher. Eyes flashing, she raised the ruler in one hand just enough to be seen by His terrified blue eyes.

_Angel's eyes,_ Riku thought to himself, losing his composure and train of thought at the sight of He who plagued him so. Such innocence and beauty, untainted by the harshness of life, _I must claim You for mine._ _Mine._

At that precise moment, when Sora overcame His fear and prepared to enter the classroom, she raced up from behind Him, tapped His shoulder, whispered in His ear and laughed, _a dagger in my side. Just kill me, I'd rather die than watch _as Kairi claimed His mouth for so many seconds, distracting Him, tearing him away from Riku's line of vision. Flames licked his insides, yet he suppressed the anger, realizing he no longer had a dilemma.

_Bitter anger eases all pain, _A voice reassured, one of long ago. That soul belonged to the darkness now, or rather, the light of Kingdom Hearts. Sora's abilities never ceased to amaze him. That scrawny Boy with His bouncy brown spikes and rosy cheeks and _the devil's mistress at His side. Such impurities should not defile my precious innocent Sora, He is mine, I beg you. Mine._

Depressed and yet infuriated, Riku left the classroom and sought them out, knowing just where they might go to be alone. He couldn't stand the thought that _she _was alone with his Light, his Beloved Enchanter, his Muse, damn it all. The thought of Him inside her, no, it would be he inside of Him. He craved that moment, a sincere feeling of lust and white-hot desire. The flames returned, to seduce him again into that fantasy world as only his own footfalls penetrated his ears. He meandered through the crowds around him, left, right, it didn't matter, _Sora, please, stop the torture._

_I beg You. _

So inviting was the fake feeling of his own hands around Sora's gentle fingers, petal soft skin, ecstacy encased within them. His lips pressed to the exposed neck, seeking responsive areas to hear the cries of happiness, the moans, feeling Him writhe in his arms...

"Riku!"

_Oh shit. _Immediately Riku's arms dropped, slamming the heavy Algebra text book into the "visible proof" and in turn cringing horribly.

"Are you okay?" the Boy questioned, padding across the front lawn, away from the devilish charmer with her coy smiles and slender frame. He meant more to Him than her, at least for that instant, and he straightened himself with newfound inner strength.

"I'm fine."

Sora skidded to a halt before him, grinning and hopping impatiently from one foot to the other as if His feet landed each time on hot coals. "What took you so long?"

"I was just thinking." _About your baby smooth skin underneath those clothes._

"We're gonna head out to the island. Are you coming?"

Full, pink lips, so smooth and delicate, _please just let me kiss You once_... Riku nodded absentmindedly, locking his gaze with those radiant sky blue eyes. _Angel eyes._ "Sure. I'll race you!"

Blue pools of curiosity and ignorance held his aquamarine gems, now darkening to a faint gray, until Sora turned His head and poised Himself to run. The mistress shouted "Go!"

The familiarity killed him, racing side by side with Him and glancing to Him every few seconds after they bolted for the dock. Before the battles, the separation, betrayal, hatred, affliction, they used to be happy. Before Riku realized, after the darkness engulfed his soul, he loved those days he only spent longing to get away.

A few spectators darted alongside them, a race between Riku and Sora a good time-killer and cheap entertainment. When the others lost their breath and stopped to pant, the two dashed onward until they reached the dock, and their boats.

"First one to touch the paupu tree," He called, hurling Himself into the boat. Act first, think later. Riku smiled, landing in his own wooden boat built with his own two hands, and snatched the paddles out of the stern. Polished wood struck the water, the two boats matched for the moment. Sora's new muscles pumped hard with every ounce of strength, pushing across the vast expanse of deep blue waves, just a little more distance, just a little more speed.

Once they hit the other side, letting their boats crash into the sand, they dodge rolled in unison onto the beach and sprinted, panting only slightly, toward the crooked star fruit tree. Sharp sea winds whipped at their hair, stinging their eyes, yet they only brushed it away, Riku stealing glances at Him every few moments to see the concentrated expression, the innocence,_ dear gods, Sora, You're perfect._ _Just once, please-_

They dashed across the bridge to the islet, tied in speed; the last few seconds would decide the race.

_-Just once, let me-_

A drop of sweat rolled into his eyes, stinging and blinding him if only for a second. In that instant, Sora leapt into the air, soaring over the last few feet and landing before the crooked paupu tree. In victory, He climbed up onto its trunk, gingerly reached forward and snatched one of the star-shaped fruits from its branches. Riku froze in the midst of running, eyeing as His mouth encased the yellow fruit and His eyes fluttered shut in pure bliss.

_-Hold You._

"You won," he declared, venturing forward a few cautious steps, painfully aware of Sora's bright sapphire eyes upon him the closer he got. "For once."

Smirking, Sora bit into the fruit once more, finishing it off as he watched in a trance-like state. He didn't notice Kairi approaching, didn't stir until she snapped her fingers before his face.

"Riku? Why are you staring?" She giggled at him, sparking a burning hate in his stomach which he swallowed with practice. Since he didn't answer, the mistress instead turned to the Boy seated on the paupu tree, gripping the bark with one hand and allowing His gangly legs to dangle over the edge.

When Kairi made to join Him, He tossed the remains into the sea. "That was great."

Riku only nodded, barely able to smother the smoke billowing up from the flames in his stomach. Steam might have shot out his ears, he realized, and he would not have cared. The vile girl simpered down on him from her position next to Sora, as if knowing what he desired and experiencing great joy in taking it away.

_Mine, please, I beg you, mine._

Kairi laced her fingers though His affectionately, the gesture of a girlfriend, how he wished to strike the smug grin from her face, _how I long to do as she does. _Riku settled with leaning against the old, bent tree, examining the ground in nonchalance as if he weren't fuming. _What a pitiful word to describe how I feel._

There he waited, listening to the endless string of "I love you's," from the mouth of the wench, and like the searing pain of the Keyblade's wounds, in the voice of Sora. _Flower, Angel, why do You love her? Why do You let her hold You while I hunger for the feeling of You in my arms? _Dreadful hours passed, the sun falling farther and farther to the horizon. No words left his mouth as he folded his arms, rolling his eyes, _I love you, I love you. _

Riku glanced over his shoulder, catching the slight wilt of His eyelids, His angel eyes losing their gleam as fatigue invaded his small body. So many nights, Riku knew, Sora had spent searching, for Heartless, for Ansem, for Organization XIII. Sleep had become a rarity to Him, another ailment in his long journey through the darkness. _Let me ease Your pain, Beloved. Let me hold You, if only once._ The wretch laid her head on his shoulder instead, yawning.

A conversation returned to his memory, a brief dialogue between the mistress and himself a few days before. It explained the smugness, the reason for her demeanor.

"He loves me. He. Loves. Me."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm going all the way with Sora. Don't you think I should?"

_Vile mistress, _Riku seethed as she dug her claws into his heart, his light, pure light. _You can't touch Him. I won't let you._

"Sora? You look beat." He laughed, fake and hollow, yet real enough to slip past Kairi's radar. _What's real, anyway? _"Do you want to spend the night?"

In agreement, He nodded, blinking slowly, sliding out of the wench's grasp to follow Riku back across the wooden boards. He led Him away, passing her one tiny smile for triumph and guiding the sleepy Angel to the dock. _You will not take Him. Mine. MINE._

A strong possessiveness deathly clutching his heart, Riku aided Him into His boat, giving it a hard shove into the sea waters. Joining Him, they leisurely rowed back to the mainland. Each slow-passing moment provided him opportunities to study His perfect round face and young features, angel eyes having seen so much and yet so innocent. "Purity" fell short of the young Boy's grace, Angel, Flower, _please, let me hold you. _Words so undescribing couldn't possibly bottle His flawlessness.

A young Boy, so free and happy and just then tired beyond his wildest imagination. Every gesture stained his memory, every breath, every word.

Even the harsh blows from the curiously destructive Keyblade. "Riku, do you think Kairi and I will ever get married?"

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**Credits:** AFI: "Kiss and Control," Slipknot: "Vermilion Part 2,"Yoko Kanno: "Velveteen"

**Notes: **So I was wondering... chapter story or one-shot? First I thought I would write a chapter story. I haven't written one since Earth Into Sky, but I dunno. I'm too indecisive. That's why you guys need to review. Please? Although I'm not sure how long I could keep up this writing style; like I keep saying, it's not really my usual.


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